I’m Never Not Thinking Of You

Every day has moments of complete chaos, even and especially when we design to avoid it.

A few evenings ago is a great example. I had sweet potatoes and veggies carmaelizing in the crockpot for dinner, easy and a done deal, so I thought. Just needed a sauce. Hey I love sauce.

I don’t know why I ever for one second convince myself things are going to run smoothly.

When I pick Ari up from school, he acts like he’s starving. This is when he turns into a psycho little monster boy, grabbing anything and everything to stuff in his mouth. If a good dinner isn’t ready right away, he will snack, therefore no appetite for dinner when it’s actually ready.

This day however, dinner actually WAS ready, but I was preoccupied with my hands and couldn’t serve it the exact very moment we walked in the door. I cannot wait until Ari starts serving me dinner, I swear I’ll make a huge fuss if it’s not ready on time. But anyway, Ari grabbed a yogurt to hold himself over. The idea of eating a small snack before dinner, well, let’s just say this mind blowing concept is new to Ari, so it’s not really full proof just yet.

Max was having a moment, understandably. Anyone with new teeth attempting to saw through their gums is completely deserving of a moment. He needed me to massage his gums, while he cried on my shoulder, while I bounced him slightly up and down.

Anything other than this was unacceptable.

So there I stood bouncing Max while he gnawled on my finger, and a sweet voice from the kitchen exclaims, “Mommy, I peed on the floor!”

Um, what.

Next thing I know, I’ve got a naked boy running around my kitchen splashing his foot in his pee. In my attempts to clean it up, Max projectile spit-up on top of it, like literally right on top of it. Then Abby (our dog) starts licking it all up. Unbelievable. It’s like they had some gross master plan working against me, their own mother!

No freaking crockpot veggies for dinner. No wine reduction sauce, no pretending I’m a food scientist in the kitchen while my children sit nicely and watch me. Peanut butter sandwiches, chips, and Oreos. ON THE COUCH. The hours that followed were equally as chaotic this particular day.

Bedtime finally arrived, hallelujah praise the lord. But you know what happened next? The exact same thing that happens every night. I attempted to drift, to check out, to relax. No such luck, next to their beds I went to watch them dream. My sweet sweet boys, I’m never not thinking of you.


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